just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
