How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
