Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize