the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
