what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
