I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
