God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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