So drunk its hurt
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
