If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
