Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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