I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
