We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
