any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
