let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What a dumb baby whore.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Randomize
