she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
