I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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