According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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