What a fucking waste of an outfit
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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