I got chris browned last night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just high enough for therapy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
