How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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