Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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