I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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