I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
they need to just BURY HIM!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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