I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
