I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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