I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
