Plan B is the new Plan A
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You were trust falling into bushes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
