We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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