i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
