so explain again why im purple
no
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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