I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
