Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
