hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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