Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
