Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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