How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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