Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
