i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
