he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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