I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
