i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
