I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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