So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Less talking, more tequila
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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