my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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