Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
