so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
