I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
