I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you win again, gameday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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