i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
its not stalking. its research.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
