We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just want to make out with him forever
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
